Let’s get down to brass tacks, we all know dogs hate lizardmen, but that doesn’t mean they’ll always be against them. To learn how we can exploit them we have to look at how dogs behave, what exactly makes them hate lizardmen? Well the answer is quite simple actually, its because of their extreme distrust of the color green. It’s common knowledge almost all lizardians are green, whether it be green eyes or scales, they always have green somewhere on them, and dogs hate that! Green reminds dogs of grass, and we all know too well why dogs hate grass…
But that’s not what I’m here for today. Today I’m here to talk about how we can truly exploit dogs into fighting against the lizards! My plan is a simple one yes, but it’s also extremely effective, it has already been proven to work in fourteen of the eighty nine quadrants (looking at you Delaware) and it also has leading physicians speculating mass effectivity. The plan has two major steps, the first one is to “zone in” on dogs, find all the young spry dogs that can help us in our cause, the second plan is to dress a single volunteer completely in green, then we douse them in coffee, a good amount of coffee. After that we have the man run through the town (city, quadrant, state, country, it really doesn’t matter.) they’ll attract a massive array of dogs that run all throughout the town (city, quadrant, state, country, etc.) scaring the scales off of any lizardmen foolish enough to tamper with our civilizations.
That’s the bell! Hope you learned something new. Make sure to look for my delegates who are leading the front on the project coined “Doggy Go.” You can find them at every fifth Costco.
We all now of the omnipotent lizard presence controlling our government and spreading the myth of “global warming”. But how do we fight them? Well, clearly you have to be rebellious, what else? Actually quite a few, securing your home with boarded up windows so the government can’t peer in, getting good security systems is a must, not that norton security nonsense, use special precautions, paper in the door, things between the doors, basically any precaution that shows when someone enters your house. Finally, close quarters combat against lizard men, avoiding the ail is always the first tip. Now, most importantly is finding the right weapon to maximise lizard-killing power. Crossbows work for long range but fall short in close range, rifles work effectively, however handguns are better for close range. My personal preference is shotguns, capable of taking out multiple lizardmen in close quarters, however it comes all down to personal preference. Have fun, don’t get caught, look good, and keep the lizards out.
School is hard, we all know that. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good fashion style and a rebellious pastime. Now, what to wear, where to wear it, and how to deal with lizard infiltrators impersonating “teachers”. I recommend a good casual style, graphic tees, snapback hats, converse, shorts and skirts, maybe even jeans if you’re feeling dangerous. Now, being that twenty-first century phones are important, what better way to incorporate them into my blog than with screensaver! Screensavers and wallpapers are what phones are all about, I tend to find my favorite backgrounds on this underground little site called https://www.google.com . It works great! Now finally, the “teachers”. It’s blatantly obvious, that “teachers” are just disguised lizard people bent on destroying young rebel minds and getting them into “college” (which we all know are just lizardian military bases). So how do you deal with them? Answer, be rebellious, get into trouble, break property, leave class abruptly, don’t do your homework and most importantly, always forget your pencil, lizard made pencils are everywhere, and its almost impossible to find non-lizard pencil. Of course, I have my sources but what about unaware little students? What do they do? Who do they go to?Well, what do you think the “teachers” use? Thats right, non-lizard pencils, as lizard pencils are poisonous, so they have their own little stash of normal pencils, If you forget your own pencil, just take one of the teachers! Works every time and keeps the lizard out.
*written with the help of legendary writer: Chandervooven*
So, the government noticed your rebellious activity? maybe online or spy witness, but thats in the past now you have to deal with the overwhelming lizard power. The most important rule and the most basic tip is to burn your social security number, so the government can’t tax you, obviously. The second tip, is of course is to be fashionable, looking great is key to your survival, wear good scarfs, great sunglasses, and a great overcoat or hoodie pairs well with a. good assault rifle or handgun! Now we get into the dirty stuff, how to kill lizard men, aim for any vital organs and avoid cold weather, they thrive in it, choose warm or hot environments as they weaken your lizard pursuers. Have fun and look good.
Clearly what you drink is important, I recommend a steady diet of cofvefe, Red Bull, water, pepper spray, and tabasco, all of which are great Lizard repellent! (avoid lizard slime, it can be found in most drinks and generally takes the form of this thing corporates call “protein” make sure to avoid drinking this (or eating) at all costs because it could mean your life.) Now, how to look hot while doing it, make sure to drink from a long, tall glass, and wear sunglasses always wear sunglasses, make sure to avoid revealing your weapons and firearms as it may alert nearby lizard-men, finally, choose a good scarf, checks and stripes are in right now so make sure to use them!
We all know too well the woes of Lizard men, and when you scratch your 300$ boots from anthropology while evading capture in a death pit it can be quite distressing, but fear not because I, Yes I Honor.J.B.R am here to save your precious fashions, join me on a journey to unveiling the truth, of fashion.